epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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