is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
