Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she pinky promised me she was 18
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
