these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
it was like eating out sand paper
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
