it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
