it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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