Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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