well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize