i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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