I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
