I'm going to jail i love you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize