I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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