got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
