Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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