If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
