you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I looked at my own cervix.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
