Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
