i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
