Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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