I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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