we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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