I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish you could order shots online.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
