why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
