You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
