So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
