Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
