Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
