I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize