When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
