Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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