More tranny stories later!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
