Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
