I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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