when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Are we still banned from the library?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize