He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
