Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
