it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
