I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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