He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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