there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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