the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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