I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
