Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
