Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
