Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
