i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
