I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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