where am i from again
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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