Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
