yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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