Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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