this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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