I am spending my child support on dildos
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
