You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
