You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
