thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
