it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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