New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
